Ursus Arctos
by Djinni of the Pen
Summary: How many men does it take to build a Bear? A short story.
1. Chapter 1

**1**

The door to the throne room shut quietly enough, the minister bowing out humbly like any other that came before King Kuei. But the subservient smile melted from his face as soon as the door closed, replaced with a look of pure and utter terror. Park quick-stepped, then jogged and finally abandoned dignity and ran down the hallway, legs taking as long a stride as his robes would allow. He reached a tucked-away door, in an equally tucked-away building far from the palace centre, out of breath and red-faced. He slammed the door behind him and leaned heavily against it for support. His breath came in panic-riddled gasps. His associate looked up at the noise.

"Stones!" Park swore loudly. "Stones and scree! Kim, we are dead."

Life in Ba Sing Se palace was one of preternatural bliss. Bad things did not happen there. The impossible did not exist. It was said that in the palace all your dreams came true.

Of course, that bliss was ruled by an iron grip, and the impossible was destroyed from thoughts in a most clinical and frightening way. And dreams? Well. Dreams were manufactured to come true.

"I want a bear."

Park, titled as Ministerial Advisor of the Sciences but in truth the greatest magician alive, had blinked at the demand.

"A platypusbear, Your Majesty?"

"No."

"A Gopherbear, then?"

"No."

"…Armadillobear?"

"No!" the young King pouted. "I want a bear!"

It was then Park had felt the first trickles of sweat run down his neck. "Just…a bear, Your Majesty?"

"Yes, Park," His Majesty said with exaggerated patience. "Is that so hard?"

Park had to swallow the hysterical laughter bubbling up his throat. "N-no… Not at all, Your Majesty."

* * *

"A _bear?!_" Kim shouted. "Good grief, Park! Why didn't you just promise him the sun while you were at it?"

"And what was I supposed to say, Kim?" Park yelled back. "'No, Your Majesty'? 'It can't be done, Your Majesty'? We would be dead!"

He slumped to the floor and dropped his head into his hands. "Who am I kidding? We're dead anyway."

After a moment Kim came and joined him on the floor. They were in silence for a while, processing and wallowing in despair and terror in turns.

"A _bear?_"

"A bear."

"But…how are we supposed to-"

"I don't know."

"…*sigh*"

"*sigh*…"

"And when are we supposed to present this miracle?" Kim asked.

"On the King's birthday," Park moaned. "In three months."

Kim turned his head sharply to see if his friend was joking. His look of defeat said everything.

"Oh _boulderdash._ We are dead."

* * *

After a night of commiserable drinks, bouts of weeping, a full rendition of 'That Girl's Got my Bricks' (all twelve verses; the dirty ones sung about six times each) and a truly incredible hangover the next morning, Park and Kim decided to give the problem a proper go. After all, 'die trying' was supposed to be the in thing nowadays.

They soon discovered that, yes indeed, what their great and noble King asked for was impossible.

"The platypusbear gestation period is four months!" Kim pulled at his hair. "_Four months!_ And that's the shortest available to us."

"How many 'bears do we have kept at the palace?" Park asked.

"Three Armadillobears, one gopherbear, four platypusbears and nine skunkbears," Kim read from a list.

"_Nine_ skunkbears?" Park turned his head at the number. "Why do we have nine of them?"

Kim read down the list. "'Distributed to the Ministry of Cultural Heritage Preservation'."

"Oh." Park pulled a face. "Well, how many are pregnant?"

"The gopherbear and two of the platypus bears," Kim replied. "Furthest along is the gopherbear – seven months. The next is one month and the last is 2 weeks in."

"Scree," Park swore. "That doesn't give us much to work with."

"It gives us nothing to work with," Kim said crossing his arms. "Breeding takes years of work. We have _three _months, Park. The best we can hope for is to cut up a cub and make it look as _bear_-like as possible, whatever the scree that means."

"And have it die on the table as soon as the King puts his hand on it?" Park said. "No, we need a real one."

"There's no time," Kim said. "Even if we figure out what he means by 'bear', we can't breed one in time for his birthday."

Park was quiet for a moment, weighing his options. "There _is_ one possibility."

Kim turned to him, trying to read the unspoken message on Park's face. "What possibility? You and I are both out of our league here, so unless you can pull a miracle out of your robe, we're…"

And then the same possibility occurred to Kim and he did not like it one bit. "Out of the question."

"You said it yourself, Kim," Park argued. "We are out of our league here."

"If you are thinking of what I think you are thinking, Park," Kim smartly replied, "then stop thinking it. It does not bear thinking."

Kim considered what he said and then added: "No pun intended."

"Well unless you would prefer to be buried quietly under a mountain, we have no choice," Park replied. "We need _her_ help."

* * *

The 'her' in question arrived almost a week later. Slim and severe in her Water Tribe blues and black hair pulled back in a scalp-tearing bun, it seemed when the door opened for her that a cold gale wind followed.

Kim gulped audibly at her entrance and shifted uncomfortably. It was left to Park to scurry over and greet her.

"Welcome, Sun," he said, a nervous creak in his voice. "I can't thank you enough for agreeing to come. Our circumstances are dire and we are in sore need of your expertise. Why, we've been-"

"Enough bootlicking, Park," Sun broke in with a voice in stark contrast to her appearance. Despite its callous tone it was like honey on the ears. "I've come to help you fix your mess and I'd rather we'd get through this as quickly as possible. To spend another minute of unobligated and unpaid for time in both your company would surely kill me."

"_Pay_?" Kim called from his hiding spot.

"Yes, Kim, 'pay'." She shoved her bags, both enormous and heavy, into Park's arms and strode into the room. "You will be paying me for my services, starting from today."

She marched to the blackboard and studied their so-far efforts, back to both of them. Before Kim could explode into a likely impending fit of rage, Park broke in. "Usual rates then, Sun. Half the percentage of our commission."

Sun's head whipped back to Park and she gave him one of her infamous icy smiles. "Oh no, boys. If you're in anything close to the trouble I expect you're in, then I expect more. Equal shares."

The silence that followed was broken only when Park dropped the bags to the floor.

* * *

The problem with Sun was that technically she was on the payroll of the King. _Technically_. It wasn't really considered proper for a woman to be studying the sciences in the Earth Kingdom. Spirit's forbid she got paid for doing so. But Sun's mother was Water Tribe and so when her waterbending manifested it was decided that she would study in the North. In their outlandish ways of letting their women benders study science and medicine, it was discovered that Sun was very good at animal sciences. _Very good_. So good, in fact, that the North quite happily shipped Sun back to Ba Sing Se with a please and thank you that she never come visit again.

Of course, the rumours went around as to how and why exactly she was kicked out of the North. Mutilating the Chief's polardog or creating a mutant nightmare tigerseal monster were the top contenders among the betting folk.

Needless to say, certain members of Ba Sing Se's ministerial staff thought they could do with a mad scientist in their employ. Even if she _was_ a woman.

Park had previously asked for Sun's help on only two occasions. The first time had been through simple correspondence; 'what would you suggest I do with such-and-such if this-and-that were already in place?'. Her advice, though slightly avant-garde, had been hugely helpful and had ensured that Park kept his position as miracle-maker extraordinaire to the King. On the second occasion, Park had asked for Sun's help in person.

Problems ensued.

It quickly became undeniable that the rumours of her genius were true. However, at the same time several other rumours turned out to be true as well. By silent agreement Park and Kim did not speak of that time. For days afterward Park heard Kim gibber in his sleep about 'those chickenpigs, those poor, poor chickenpigs.' Perhaps the most difficult part about that time was that Sun undoubtedly helped Park succeed in his project. Indeed, without her he would have failed.

Just as he would now if he turned her away.

"Alright, Sun," he told her finally. "Equal shares."

Her smile widened and she turned back to the board. "Excellent. Let's get started then. I see you decided to define the problem of 'bear' beforehand."

"It seemed like the best place to start," Park replied as he stepped nearer to the board.

"You are not wrong there. But I see once again both of you are being sandfooted about the topic." Sun frowned at the board. "How many 'bears do we have at our disposal?"

Kim sighed as he took up the list. "Three Armadillobears, one gopherbear-"

"Bring them all in," Sun cut in. "What better way, gentlemen, to note differences in anatomy and physiology than going to the source?"

She turned to Kim "After you acquire the 'bears prepare the autopsy room."

Kim's face blanched and he walked away stiffly. As he passed by Park heard him mutter to himself "_The chickenpigs_".


	2. Chapter 2

**2**

"Ah, you see, Park? The vena cava of the Platypusbear is the same as the Armadillobear's. Add it to the list, Kim."

Park and Sun were quite literally up to their elbows in Platypusbear. The stench of blood and death lingered like bad cologne on Park even after he washed and rubbed himself in oils. Sun smiled gleefully as she held up the Platypusbear's heart, pointing out the details of the organ. It was not unlike some sort of ancient sacrificial ritual. Park prepared for the moment when Sun would tell him it was now time to drink its blood.

"Excellent, Sun." Park made sure to keep his voice as neutral as possible. Difficult to do with a quivering organ shoved under his nose. "Don't you think we've gathered enough data, though? I mean, that's our third heart. Isn't that a little excessive?"

"You can never have enough hearts, Park," Sun replied matter-of-factly.

"Well, I'm comfortable with our assessment of the definition of 'bear' now," Park stated.

Sun waved her hands dismissively, casually loosing bodily fluids everywhere. "Nonsense. Our work is barely half done. Kim, bowl."

"I don't understand, Sun," Park said. "We've-"

Sun dropped the heart into the bowl with a decisive slap. Kim flinched as blood delicately spattered his face.

"We've pretty much figured out…" Park tried to continue, noticing Kim dramatically wipe his face. "…figured out the detailing on the 'bear', haven't we? We've been at it for three weeks and know the animals from hide to hair, so to speak. Can't we start making, or breeding, or building, or whatever it is you do?"

"Park, please," Sun cleaned her hands on cloth and began to remove her apron. "There is still much to do on our preliminary work."

"Such as?" Park had washed his hands and now fumbled with his apron strings.

"Kim, would you please put that heart away?" Sun stepped behind Park and took the strings from him. "We still do not have detailing on the Skunkbears."

"And we won't," Kim called. "They're Dai Li property."

"And on top of that," Sun continued, ignoring Kim, "we'll need to examine the foetuses. There; untied."

She patted Park's shoulder and he and Kim watched her leave the room. Park held his apron, Kim his heart, the table overwhelmed with blood, and the both of them began to realise how over their heads they were.

* * *

"Fetae?"

"Foetuses," Sun corrected, not looking up from the writing table.

Park and Kim looked at each other, the same though crossing their minds.

"Correct me if I'm wrong," Park said, "but don't we need the foetuses for breeding?"

"You are wrong," Sun replied.

Again, there were shared looks between the men.

Sun finally noticed the silence that pressed down on the room. Her head lifted and she studied the both of them.

"Did you both think we wouldn't need to examine them also?" Her honey-tongued voice was mystified. "How extraordinary. Do you know nothing at all of animal sciences?"

Park puffed out his chest. "We never claimed to expert animalists like you."

"Certainly not," Sun remarked. "An alchemist and a…what is it you do again, Kim?"

Park's voice sprang over Kim's would-be outburst. "Which is why we called you, didn't we? For assistance, not condescension and insults on our chosen fields of study."

"Yes," Sun replied. "And as leading expert here, my decisions should not be questioned."

"Expert," Park countered, "but not leader. I am the head of this project, Sun. All your _suggestions_ will be passed through me. And if I do not understand feel free to explain. I will not be offended. Kim, shut up."

Kim's mouth clicked shut and it marked the arrival of another tense silence. This one hung around for a shorter time period but was louder than its predecessor.

"Fine," Sun answered, spitting the word like chipped ice. "You are right, Park; you are lead on this. My apologies. Shall I now _suggest_ your next step, then?"

Park nodded his head graciously.

"You think you have the makings of a 'bear', do you?" Sun asked.

"Don't we? There are features and characteristics in all the 'bears that are the same. You have pointed that out all along." Park shrugged his shoulders as if that said everything.

"But when do the differences appear?" Sun questioned. "How long is a foetus in such a generic state to be indistinguishable from other species? What are the first defining characteristics to appear? Could you stop those features even appearing? If so, for how long? Will it die without its distinguishing marks? How much-?"

Park cut his hand through the air. "Enough, I get it."

"Do you?" Sun persisted. She punctuated her words with a finger shoved into his chest. "This is not a parlour room trick, Park. You cannot bluff your way through this one. Sacrifices must be made, and first on the altar with be your reservations and morality. Selfless duty to science calls you to sacrifice your own pride _and do whatever it takes to make a bear_."

A third silence, the embarrassed and nervous little brother of the three, fell across the room. Park stared at the finger stabbed at his chest and swallowed.

Kim cleared his throat. "Well, look on the bright side, Park. At least you don't have to save the world."

* * *

Kim stared down at the note Sun had given him. "What's this?"

"The address of my supplier. You can get us more bears there."

"'East Gate'?"Kim's eyes widened. "But this is in the lower ring!"

"Yes?"

"I don't go to the lower ring!" Kim sputtered.

"There's a first time for everything, Kim." She patted his shoulder. "This will be a good learning experience for you."

Kim sputtered away, a look of mortification plastered across his face. Park turned hesitantly to Sun. "And what will we do then?"

The smile she gave him sent shivers up his spine.

"We are going to pay a call on the Dai Li."

* * *

The world was full of injustice, partiality and all-around unfairness. Kim knew that better than most.

Take, for instance, his current circumstances:

Forced into yet another life-or-death situation by the whims of their magnificent idiot King. Cornered into working with a Spirit World banshee who had a tundra for a soul. And he, Assistant Minister of the Sciences, made to ride _public transport_.

This went beyond humiliation. This – all of _this_ – was an attack on his person.

He got off at the stop Sun indicated and almost keeled over. He had thought the smell inside the train was bad but this was _assaulting_, like a latrine on a hot day. Could it be possible the noise was worse? The train bellowed its horn and rattled off, leaving Kim to hold his ears as well as his nose.

Kim treaded the directions Sun had given him. The East Gate was a crowded affair. There were few actual stalls here, even less hawkers. Instead the streets were filled with animals. Cockerelgoats, cowhens, koalasheep (the three of them had briefly looked at adding koalasheep to their research. But, as it turned out and despite popular belief, koalasheep were not bears) and, of course, chickenpigs. Hundreds of chickenpigs. A shudder went through Kim as their squealing reached his ears. Ever since Park and Kim's last encounter with that demon from the North in the guise of a woman, he had become a hardline vegetarian. He could not shake the feeling there was something keenly human about the cries of a chickenpig.

With one last shudder of revulsion Kim set off following Sun's directions. He pushed his way through the crowds, keeping one hand tight on his money pouch and his feet well away from hooves. He should have added pats to the list as he firmly stepped into one.

Sun's directions led Kim down side streets and narrow lanes. The roads became increasingly empty of people and filled rather with industrial buildings, storehouses and stock sheds. There were no trading farmers here, no merchants inspecting product. This was a place only the locals travelled. Kim swallowed and counted the buildings on the street.

There. The fifth one. A weathered storehouse with a faded signboard: _Vui's Stock and Trade_. With great hesitancy Kim entered the front door.

It stank. Badly. The musk of dozens of penned animals clung to the air like those cheap oils Park had been using lately. The noise was bearable, at least. As far as he could see the storehouse only kept koalasheep and they seemed content enough.

Kim stumbled as someone clapped his shoulder.

"Can I help you?"

Kim turned to yell at the man. He had an issue with personal space, the issue being never to cross his. Except the man who'd broken his unseen boundary was not a man.

To be fair, she could only be described as a woman in the loosest sense of the word. She was as broad as one of palace guards and taller than any of them. Her hair was short cut and she had dark, peasant skin.

Kim stared up at her. "Um?"

"Vui," she said with an easy smile. "The one and only."

"Indeed," Kim murmured.

"Looking to invest?" she asked. "Master sent you down to check my stock?"

"_Master?_" Kim drew himself up to his unimpressive full height. "I am no one's servant."

"Oh, sorry," Vui said with a slanting smile. "Had the look of a number cruncher about you."

"I'm a scientist!" Kim fumed.

"Ya don't say?" Vui's eyes brightened. "I know a scientist myself. Can you make fireworks? Lightning from stone? Turn water to that fogsmoke?"

Kim frowned. "That's alchemy, my compatriot's work. Nothing but showmanship and nonsense."

"Oh. So what do you do, then?"

"I don't _do_; I study physical science."

Vui's blank stare ruffled Kim's already stirred up temper.

"What's that?" she asked.

"Physical sciences," Kim repeated, this time with slower enunciation. "You know? How things move and the laws that apply to them."

Vui's brow creased. "Like bending?"

"No." Kim's voice was positively flat-line. "Not like bending."

"Can't bend, can you?" Vui's eyes twinkled mischievously.

"I study the very essence of the cosmos!" Kim steamed.

She slapped him on the back again and almost threw him on the ground. "Don't worry, yeah? We all compensate somehow."

"But-!" Kim rubbed a hand across his face frantically. Oppression! The world was oppressing him! But he would be the better man here. He calmed himself as best as he could. "Sun… Sun sent me."

"Well, why didn't you say so, Little Man?" Vui replied happily. "What she want this time? Not wolfbats, I hope. Sold out on those just the other day. Guess you were lying before, eh? Master _did _send you down." She guffawed. "Come along then."

Kim stumbled after her. "_Little man?_"

He hated the universe.


End file.
